Me? A Bride?!

The time has come, I am officially planning my own wedding! I have, of course, been unofficially planning it for a couple years though (I'm not ashamed!). The greatest guy in the world got down on one knee on September 27, so I am about 7 weeks into our engagement.

There was very little I could do until we looked at venues, chose one, and picked a date. That could not happen until we were able to make it down to Santa Barbara, our destination of choice. And even THAT could not happen until I got back from my vacation in Japan, which was coincidentally timed for 2 weeks after our engagement. This drove the planner in me CRAZY! Hence, I survived.

So what have I done in the first 7 weeks?

 

We chose our wedding party!

We chose who we want by our sides on the most important and emotional day of our lives! I asked mine in a cute way- custom wine bottle labels and cutesie hair ties for the bridesmaids, and a sweet gift set for my maid of honor. Carson chose his, but will be asking them soon so I can't spill the beans! It's so important to choose these people wisely. They will have input on your wedding, will be there to help (hopefully!), and you'll want to look back 40 years from now and still love those people dearly. Plus, your maid of honor and best man have a lot of planning to do themselves for the bachelor/ette parties and showers! Choose wisely :)

We chose a venue!

We made it down to Santa Barbara the weekend after I returned from my trip. We saw 4 venues in one day (poor Carson must have been exhausted), and ultimately were deciding between two by the end of the day. I had made appointments at all the venues before I left on my trip. This is required/highly suggested so that you can meet with the point person at the venue, get all the details and specs on the site, and ask all your questions. You want to make sure the venue is a good fit for both your vision, as well as your necessities. Our vision involved glamour, a beach view, and an outdoor setting. Our necessities included wheelchair accessibility and availability in July or September. We placed some holds on both venues, but knew by the next day which one we wanted to go with. Here is our venue!

Fess Parker Doubletree-- Image by Melissa Musgrove Photography

 

We booked a photographer!

Photos are everything to me. I take photos (probably too many) of everything. I stalk wedding blogs and gush over the photography in them. I have known for a while that I would love to book Michael and Anna Costa Photography for my wedding one day, so they were one of the first vendors I reached out to once I got engaged (before we even had a venue or a date!). Other than videography, how else will you remember all the smiles, outfits, facial expressions, and décor without beautiful pictures that you'll cherish forever? I reached out to Anna right away, booked my date as soon as I could, and scheduled our engagement photo shoot. I highly recommend doing your engagement shoot with the photographer you'll have at your wedding so that you can meet, and sort of "practice" for the big day! Having a rapport with the photographer will make you more comfortable in front of the camera, and he or she will learn what types of poses do and do not work for you and your honey. I also chatted with her about my outfit choices for the engagement shoot, and she some great recommendations! Maybe she is just an all-star though and not all will be so helpful ;)

 

We booked a florist!

Similar to our photographer, I've known for a few years after working in the biz (very technical term for the wedding industry) that I wanted (no, NEEDED) NLC Productions to do our flowers. Nico's work is stunning, ethereal, and makes me question reality with what he is able to do with floral design. Plus, he is a fun, bubbly, sassy man with amazing style and taste. I reached out to him, prematurely, as well, and secured him for our date as soon as I could. One simple phone call explaining my vision to him, he was able to put together a proposal for me and the descriptions paired with the images he sent blew me away! Needless to say, and I am SO excited to see the end result. With him, as well as other vendors who are important to you, I would recommend reaching out to them as soon as you know you might want them. They can get to work on your proposal before you even have a date, so that once you do, you can get your wedding on the books immediately before someone else snatches them up! Having a team you are STOKED about is a great way not to let stress happen or get to you!

NLC Productions

 

I made wedding dress appointments!

Unfortunately, I made said appointments the weekend after Thanksgiving! Not my smartest move, but, hey, it was the only time my sister/maid of honor was in town so it had to be done. I am SO excited to try on dresses! Another thing I obsess over regularly is wedding fashion. While I adore the recent trend of non-white dresses, I myself am a white-dress type of bride and have dreamed of that dress my whole life! I'll be doing my shopping in San Francisco, and almost all of those dress shops require appointments. If you are limited on weekends like me, make those appointments early! I made mine about a month and a half beforehand so we have a great schedule allowing time for lunch, travel, etc. When searching for the right shops to go to, I simply Googled my favorite bridal designers and looked at their "locations" pages to find stores near me. Don't know what designers you like? Pinterest is your best friend. Start with a certain style, and when you see one you like, check out their website to see if you like more in the collection. It's also important to establish your budget before your appointments so you don't fall in love with something you simply cannot afford. Talk about heartbreak :(

 

What else? I have booked a couple other vendors and made some inquiries (musicians, hotel room blocks, babysitter, cake). We've got about 7 months to go, so I want to get as much done now as I can and hammer out those details in the months to come. I would definitely rather be stressed out now than a month before the wedding! We also chose a date for my bachelorette party and bridal shower which are going to be so AWESOME! This journey has just begun and I am loving every minute of it!

Give your Guests the Star Treatment

So it's your big day! All your friends and family have traveled and gathered to celebrate this momentous day in your life. Let's face it, how much fun would a wedding be if no one showed up to enjoy your wedding day with you?

 

It's important to show your guests you are SO happy they came and that the effort, time, and money they put in to joining you on your big day was well worth it for them. There are a lot of ways you can put in a little extra effort to show your guests you thought about them during your planning process.

 

Most wedding ceremonies incorporate some kind of ceremony program. Guests, especially relatives, really appreciate this little guide to your ceremony and wedding party because it helps them know what's going on and who you've chosen to take part in your day. It'll tell them who is who, the order of the ceremony, important passages or readings they can follow along with, and what is happening once the ceremony is over. This is also a really great time to type a note thanking your guests for coming, that you couldn't imagine this day without them, and how excited you are to share your future with them as a part of your life.

 

Photo by Laura Ivanova Photography

 

The programs pictured above double as a fan, which is another way to make guests more comfortable during a hot summer ceremony. Not only do people love cutesie, clever, practical items, but they'll really appreciate it when they are exposed to the sun for 30+ minutes. Another great way to achieve this level of comfort? Parasols. It's an adorable word for delicate, girly umbrellas that looks great and shade your guests. You can buy them for pretty cheap, or a lot of venues rent them out for the day.

 

Image from a wedding I assisted on with Soigne Productions, photo by Michael & Anna Costa Photographers Ltd.

 

Another great way to create a more comfortable environment for your guests is to add some amenities to the restroom(s) at your venue. You are not the only one who wants to look and feel great on your wedding day! Your guests want to look their best as well, and you can aide in this endeavor by throwing together a fun yet practical basket for the restrooms. Whether you are hosting your wedding in a hotel, a winery, or somewhere requiring you to bring in portable restrooms, there is always room to make the bathroom that much nicer.

 

Image from All Free DIY Weddings

 

Things to consider including: deodorant spray, floss, sunscreen, feminine products, a comb, and breath mints. People really appreciate it, and definitely notice that extra effort. You can even include a cute note for a personalized touch.

 

Finally, never send your guests home at the end of the night without a party favor. They will love it, they'll remember your night, and (hopefully) they won't throw it away! In my opinion, it's important to give your guests something they can use, not something that will add to the clutter drawer in their house. They will appreciate that you took the time to give them something thoughtful and practical. There are so many directions you can go with this, and that's what makes it fun! Try to find something that goes with your theme. Garden them? A cute little succulent (that can double as a place card!) is always a fan favorite. Aiming to go a little more DIY? Home-made, wrapped cookies can NEVER go wrong. If your wedding color is a mint green, "Mint To Be" breath mints are clever and very useful for guests young and old alike.

 

Image from a fellow blogger

 

Had to throw in one more party favor favorite of mine, "I Met My Match." I love the saying, with the names and the wedding date, and matches are something people always need, always keep, and will remind them of this special day every time they use one. You can even throw on a little "Thank you for celebrating with us!" note to show your gratitude one last time.

Wedding Budget Woes

It's no secret that a wedding can be expensive and costs add up FAST. It's a fine line between creating the wedding of your dreams while sticking to the agreed upon budget. The good news? Small tweaks in your wedding details can really make a difference.

 

First of all, it's really important to know the budget you are working with before you start planning. Be realistic with yourselves. You don't want to be broke or in debt your first year of marriage, and you don't want to pressure your parents into giving you more money than they are comfortable with. No matter what your budget, your wedding can be spectacular and special. The most important thing is that you and your fiancée are tying the knot, right? If only it were that simple...

 

Once you've got a budget, it's time to lay out your priorities. I'd create a pie chart with percentages that will equal out to monetary amounts based on how much, total, you'd like to spend. This is a great visual way to see where you want to spend the most and the least amount of money. As you book vendors and purchase items, you may need to adjust the percentages accordingly, and that's okay! You might fall in love with some invitations that cost more than you had allocated. You just need to simply cut some percentage points in another category to balance your total.

 

Your spending will increase as your guest list does. The more bodies present at your wedding, the more expensive it gets. This makes sense, right? More people means more chairs to rent, mouths to feed, wedding favors to distribute, and often times can result in in a larger cost for your wedding planner. Coordination for a wedding with 400 guests will almost always cost you more than coordination for a wedding of 150.

 

Don't go for upgrades. Folding chairs rather than Chiavari chairs (the two most commonly rented chairs) can save you a pretty penny. While Chiavari chairs have a slightly nicer appearance, it's super unlikely that your guests will care, and will not even be looked at once they are being sat on and everyone is eating, laughing, and enjoying the party.

 

 

Folding Chair vs. Chiavari Chair

Images from Classic Party Rentals

 

Another chair tip: repurpose your chairs! If the staff you have hired and your venue allow, feel free to use the same 100 chairs that your guests sat in at the ceremony and move them over to the reception dinner tables while they are at the cocktail hour. This, of course, is dependent on whether or not you have a long enough cocktail hour to make this transition happen and if the cocktail space is not in eye-sight of the ceremony/reception locations.

 

You can also use this repurposing trick for your flowers. Large floral arrangements can come out to multiple hundreds of dollars each. If you have large alter arrangements, ceremony aisle flowers, or even bridesmaids bouquets, you can repurpose all of those to become centerpieces and room décor for your reception. Your wedding planner can collect the arrangements and bridesmaid bouquets and place them into vases of water on tables after the ceremony or while they are enjoying the cocktail hour.

 

An example of flowers that were repurposed from the ceremony and used as cake table décor

Image from Bridal Guide

 

Finally, a great way to curb your spending is to go with a new kind of wedding registry. Companies like Honeyfund and Zola allow you to register for monetary amounts/experiences, rather than the traditional household item route. While you may not realize it, your honeymoon can take up some of the money you've allocated for your wedding. Since many couples today live together before getting married, they usually already have a lot of the household items that would typically go on a wedding gift registry. These websites allow couples to ask for contributions for their honeymoon plane tickets, romantic dinners, couples' massages, fun activities, etc. This let's you worry less about what you are spending on the wedding, knowing you have a fun, special, once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon to look forward to and taken care.

 

Ask your planner other ways to cut costs on areas like dinner service style, alcohol packages, digital save-the-dates and invitations, and DIY projects.

You're engaged... Now what?

Congratulations! You've now entered one of the momentous, important, ecstatic, and stressful times of your life! So many emotions, so much in your brain, so much to plan. But where to start?

First: slow down. Take some time to enjoy this really special time in your life. Soak in the fact that you and your love have decided to do this forever. Gush with your family and friends, smile big time on this life change, and relish in all that you hope and dream will come next.

Once that's out of your system, it's time to start with a guest list. You'll need to know how many you are expecting before you can decide on a location and/or wedding date. In general, you can expect that about 2/3 of your invited guests will come to your big day. I'd start with the people you CANNOT get through this day without. This include the obvious choices, such as your immediate family, your best friend, your dear grandmother. Once that list feels pretty good, move on to those who you'd love to have there, but could still see yourself going through with it if they were not able to make it. Decide if you want to allow for plus ones, or just invite those significant other who you know are in a serious relationship. This part can get tricky, but just go with your heart... and your wallet. Keep in mind that each body you are seating, feeding, and planning for will contribute to your budget. Finally, as bad as this is to say, there are always people you don't feel you need to be at your wedding, but should be: your boss, your distant great aunt, your oldest family friends you haven't talked to in years.

Now it is time to venue search! A lot of factors go into a venue search: do you want the ceremony and reception to be at two different locations, or the same one? Outdoors? Indoors? Handicap accessible? Noise curfew? Ambiance? How many people can be accommodated? Talk these items through with your fiancé to get a good grasp on what you both are wanting out of the day. Secluded venues with amazing views might need a kitchen and bathrooms brought in which can be pricey, as well as required transportation buses for guests due to lack of parking. Winery weddings can provide those killer views as well, but may have hard liquor restrictions and are often a bit tighter on space too. Hotel weddings can act as kind of a one-stop-shop with the caterer, rentals, and sometimes a venue coordinator all provided for you; however these spaces might be lacking in outdoor space, character of the ballrooms, and limit your creative options. Once you've landed on a venue, they'll provide you with a list of some dates they are open during your desired time frame. Friday will be cheaper than Saturday almost all the time. I suggest looking up public events in the area to make sure you aren't asking your guests to travel during the most expensive/high-traffic/all-the-hotels-are-booked time of the year (unless that's what you're going for). It's also worth inquiring about events they have already booked at the space on the dates you are considering. Many venues and churches will have as many as 2 or 3 weddings in a day (at different times and/or locations of course) and you can sometimes pay extra to have an exclusive for the day. Weddings are notorious for running late, and you don't want this potentially infringing on the time you have paid for.

Once these HUGE decisions have been made, you can get down to the nitty-gritty: catering, flowers, rentals, entertainment, etc. Some peoples' minds were made for this, but some can feel totally lost in the details. You want to enjoy this time, so if doing it all yourself allows for that- GO FOR IT and save the money! But if not, a planner can greatly take away the stress that accompanies this happy time and can ensure your details are in good hands.

Happy planning!